


∞

by citrussunscreen



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Somnophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 22:22:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21309568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrussunscreen/pseuds/citrussunscreen
Summary: Sho can remember how he and Nino had first started this, together. They met as Johnny’s Juniors. They also started all of this as Johnny’s Juniors. At first, it was not a stretch to say that it started off as friendly, a way to relieve themselves with some help. And that’s all it was meant to be.Nino/Sho.
Relationships: Ninomiya Kazunari/Sakurai Sho, mentions of Ninomiya Kazunari/Others (Female), unrequited Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	∞

**Author's Note:**

> Not chronologically accurate.

Sho can remember _how_ he and Nino had first started _this_, _together_. They met as Johnny’s Juniors. They also started _all of this_ as Johnny’s Juniors. At first, it was not a stretch to say that it started off as _friendly_, a way to relieve themselves with some help. And that’s all it was meant to be.

_Friends with benefits, sex friends_, it’s the technical and well-known terms. It’s also the terms they silently use between themselves.

**1997**

They were backup dancers for their senpai. They put in so much effort that their limbs would feel sore and their jaws cramped up from smiling all night long. And then they’d be pressed together, their sweat mingling and their hands wandering and massaging into each other. They exchanged saliva and disguised all of this as an activity fit for a _pure _sleepover.

“Come on, Sho-chan”, Nino puffs out, “you can tug harder”, Nino encourages Sho to stroke his cock _harder_ and _faster_, “just like what I’m doing for you”, Nino’s grip tightens and increases his tempo.

Sho gasps and struggles to get oxygen into his lungs, his hands falter and he is grateful when Nino realises that _he is struggling_ and instead of stroking each other’s cocks individually, Nino presses both their cocks together and attempts to stroke them both.

“Sho-chan”, Nino laughs out and pushes Sho down onto the bed so that gravity assists him in pressing more of their skin together.

“Nino”, Sho shudders, “please, Nino”.

“Soon”, Nino grunts out, “not long, Sho-chan”.

Sho moans out quietly at a particularly hard squeeze and his nerves feel like they’re on fire as he reaches his climax, his hold on Nino tightens. Nino follows suit soon after before collapsing on top of Sho.

“You think my family woke up?” Nino asks with a small laugh.

Horrified, Sho pushes Nino off and sits up on the bed straight away, “I hope not!”

“I’m kidding”, Nino stretches his limbs, “they sleep like logs”.

Sho pushes Nino playfully who snorts at the other.

“So”, Nino speaks quietly and looks straight into Sho’s eyes, “is it true that you were going out with that chick?”

Sho raises one eyebrow and is tempted to ask _which chick_, but there was _no chick_, and he knows what the rumours are. But whether he tells Nino the truth is his own choice.

“You’re shy?” Nino asks with a grin. His fingers drum against Sho’s inner thigh gently.

“No”, Sho replies quietly, “they’re all rumours”.

“I see”, Nino’s grin widens and he scoots forward to press his lips against Sho’s own pliant and soft lips.

Sho’s heart beats a little faster.

The following day, Sho gets his left ear pierced. His heart beats fast.

But maybe not as fast as when Nino lifted a sailor uniform from a bag and handed it to Sho with a smirk.

“What… what?” Sho hesitates to take the sailor uniform as his heart beats uncontrollably.

“You like this, don’t you?” Nino says.

“Where did you even get this from?” Sho asks without denying that _yes he does like cosplaying_.

“I have an older sister”, Nino states simply.

Immediately, Sho drops the uniform and his face twists into one of disgust.

Nino rolls his eyes as he picks up the uniform and thrusts it back into Sho’s hands, “It’s not hers, I promise, it’s yours”.

“I didn’t know you had this kind of interest”, Sho looks at the uniform and then at Nino to try judge the other, because, what if _this_ is _another_ joke? Nino sure liked pulling his leg after all. Figuratively and literally.

“Go put it on for me”, Nino encourages, “before everyone comes home”.

“Y-you’re going to watch me change?” Sho asks, slightly bewildered.

Nino scrunches his nose, “Nothing I haven’t seen before, I can even put it on for you if you prefer”.

Frowning, Sho shakes his head, “Just turn around and face the wall until I say so”.

“So bossy, as expected of the oldest child”, Nino complains but does as he’s told.

Sho doesn’t _struggle_ with the uniform and it surprisingly fits him well. He feels _free_ and it’s definitely breezy between his legs, but it’s not like his first time cross-dressing, it shouldn’t be _anything new_, but the fact that he’s doing this with _Nino_ makes his heart thump crazily.

“It suits you really well”, Nino comments and Sho whips around straight away to see Nino looking at him with a smirk.

“I told you to not look”, Sho complains but walks up towards Nino who’s on the bed.

Nino stretches a hand out and gently flips Sho’s skirt. He whistles and Sho is tempted to knee the other. But he doesn’t. Instead Sho climbs over Nino on the bed and watches Nino’s face as Nino’s hands slide up his thighs and fondle him under the skirt.

His days gradually fill with thoughts of Nino. They both agree that this will _all_ stop once one of them has a love interest or starts a steady relationship. Sho is content with how things are going for them. He wouldn’t want it any other way.

Rumours will always be something Johnny’s Juniors will always talk about, and Sho isn’t deaf. He hears about Nino’s popularity. And he knows his own. But Sho doesn’t ask if Nino is seeing anyone. Perhaps he is afraid of the answer he will receive. Nino is honest, Sho knows that much, _if_ there is any semblance of a stable relationship for Nino, Sho is sure he will be informed.

They talk about the stage play _Kyo to Kyo_, and Nino is exhilarated with the experience. He tells Sho that he rather enjoys being on stage, _acting _on stage. Sho smiles and agrees that Nino was more than just _great_ on stage. He couldn’t say the same for himself, despite how fun it all was. They talk about their aspirations and much duller things like what they had for breakfast that morning. Or how the wind really isn’t great for their hair. Or how Sho _still_ dresses like a virgin when he no longer is.

Sho smacks Nino and reminds Nino that it’s _all_ due to Nino.

Nino snickers and tackles Sho back into the bed again.

They’re definitely friends. Probably not the best of friends. But _friends_. Friends who have sex with each other. Sho doesn’t question it. He doesn’t want to think too deeply about how he doesn’t have sex with any of his other _friends_.

**1998**

When Matsujun confesses to Sho his admiration, respect and love for him, Sho is taken by surprise. He knows, and _everyone else knows_ that Matsujun admires and respects him. Matsujun follows him around like a puppy when he can. He is almost always seen at Sho’s beck and call. But, honestly, Matsujun isn’t the only one. But… love? Sho almost needs to take a seat from how shocked he is at the moment.

“I don’t need an answer from you, Sho-kun”, Matsujun says. His face serious and different from his usual sparkly and overly-excited face.

Sho swallows thickly. He’s at a loss for words. And he isn’t usually like this. He can feel sweat form at the base of his neck.

“I know that you are going well with Nino, and I don’t want to intrude, but I just wanted to let you know so that…”

Sho stares wide-eyed at Matsujun. _What_ did he just say?

Matsujun clears his throat before he continues, “So that I can move on”.

_Move on_.

Sho licks his now very dry lips, he has to deny it, it’s not right for Matsumoto to continue to believe that there is something more than friendship between him and Nino. Even though there is. But it’s not what Matsujun thinks it is. “Nino and I aren’t like that”. He just doesn’t feel right for someone who is holding romantic feelings for him to believe that. He’s fond of Matsujun. The other is _cute_ and Sho thinks that maybe his younger brother will grow up to be all sparkly like Matsujun.

“You’re… _not?_” Matsujun raises both eyebrows in his own surprise at this revelation.

Sho nods, “We’re not”, he confirms. “We’re just friends”, Sho feels his heart constrict as those words come out of his own mouth.

“Then”, Matsujun takes a step closer to Sho, his eyes gleaming with hope, “will you please consider going out with me?”

“Eh?” Sho blinks rapidly, “Macchan?”

“You don’t have to give me an answer straight away”, Matsujun says, “I hope that you will consider me though”.

Sho already knows the answer. But before he can inform Matsujun of his answer, Matsujun nods once and then turns around and walks off.

That day, Sho’s head is filled with Matsujun.

Sho calls Matsujun out that same night and _rejects_ him. He doesn’t have a very convincing reason to tell Matsujun. Nothing like _I’m in love with someone else_ even though that is the reason. And he feels bad about it when he sees Matsujun’s expression, crestfallen and on the verge of tears with his lips trembling.

“I’m sorry, Macchan”, Sho says. And he really is.

“It’s okay”, Matsujun says. But he clearly does not look _okay_.

The next night, as Sho studies on Nino’s bed whilst Nino is strumming his guitar, he brings it up with the other, Matsujun’s confession.

“Oh?” Nino glances at Sho and then returns his attention back onto his guitar, “He finally confessed?”

“Eh?” Sho looks from his text book to Nino quickly, “_Finally?_ You… you knew?”

Nino shrugs, “Thought it was common knowledge that he has the hots for you”.

Sho flops on the bed, “I didn’t know”, he mutters.

“You’re slow with stuff like that it seems”, Nino chuckles as he gets off the bed and places his guitar away before sitting back on the edge of his bed. “So? You’re going out with him now?” Nino looks at Sho and waits for Sho to look at him, “We’re going to stop _this_?”

Sho frowns, “We’re not, I rejected him”.

“Ahhh~” Nino flops down next to Sho and grabs the other’s hand and squeezes, “Guess we’ll continue _this_ _thing_ of ours”.

“I guess we will”, Sho says and squeezes Nino’s hand in return.

“Until one of us finds someone”, Nino reminds him.

Sho gulps. His heart races. He can’t say it. He doesn’t have the courage like Matsujun does. Sho can’t confess to the one he likes and be heartbroken. Sho can’t lose what this thin relationship he has with Nino at the moment.

“Yeah”, Sho agrees and raises no complaints at all when Nino rolls on top of him and joins their lips together. He says nothing but Nino’s name as Nino spreads his legs and opens him up with by now, _practiced ease_.

That night, Sho receives a text message from Matsujun, the younger asking if it’s alright for him to continue to _love_ Sho, because he wants to wait for Sho. Sho gulps and shifts in the bed, Nino groans sleepily from behind him and Sho is very aware of the arms wrapped around his waist.

_I’m sorry, Macchan._

Sho replies with a simple text. He doesn’t tell Matsujun what and what not to do. Matsujun should be able to decide for himself. Sho places his hand over Nino’s hand and tells himself the same thing. He can decide for himself what he wants. He can.

**1999**

Nino looks at Sho and thinks that it really probably is best that they talk to Johnny-san about _all of this_ group debut thing he has planned.

“Are you sure about this?” Sho asks Nino.

“I am”, Nino replies, “I want to be in the field of acting, directin, not… whatever this is”.

Sho hums quietly in agreement. “And I’m going to university”. Nino is already an actor. Sho wants to tell Nino that. But, one can never have enough motivation to pursue their dreams.

Nino grunts in reply.

The news spreads quick and before they knew it, they stood out from the other Johnny’s juniors, many who would look at them with envy.

All Nino needed was one look at Matsujun to know that the other is still in love with Sho. And all it took was Matsujun to debut with them as _Arashi_ for his look of envy to turn into an expression you would hold for the happiest person in Japan, on Earth. Some days, he finds it _funny_ that even though Matsujun is clearly there, _head over heels_ for Sho, Nino is still the one who is sleeping with Sho. Perhaps Sho didn’t want the extra baggage of feelings _and whatnot_, Nino can only imagine how messy it would all be once things came to an end.

When Nino and Sho _ARASHI_ on Johnny-san’s desk, they look at each other sceptically. They discuss it as they eat Chinese food and think it’s _odd_ for sure. And their worries double. When they’re told that this is most likely just for the promotion period for volleyball, their worries lessen. And life should continue the same.

“Is this going to continue?” Sho asks as Nino helps clean his insides after sex.

“Hm?” Nino looks up from in between Sho’s spread legs, “If I don’t continue, you’ll be sleeping with my cum inside you, Sho-chan is okay with that?”

Embarrassed, Sho immediately shoves a foot in Nino’s face, “I meant _all of this_”, Sho tries to will his face from flushing, but he’s not very good at it.

Nino removes Sho’s leg and returns to what he was doing, “Yeah well, if we’re both in Tokyo, why not? I’ll be continuing my acting career here, and Sho-chan is going to Keio, right?”

“Yeah”, Sho says, “Yes, I am”.

When Nino watches Sho look after his younger brother, carrying him on his shoulders and entertaining him, it was only natural for Nino to then ask Sho, “Do you want children in the future, Sho-chan?”

“Eh?” Sho looks up from Shu and stares at Nino with shock. “That came out of nowhere…”

Nino shrugs and gestures to Shu.

Sho relaxes. “I don’t know, I’m still young”, Sho wonders how Nino feels about that topic, “what about Nino?”

Nino hums and then replies, “I think it will make my mother happy”.

Yes, of course. Sho schools his expression so that he can give the other a smile. The sound of the front door opening sounds and Sho’s sister’s _“I’m home_”, rings through the house. Sho takes this chance to grab his younger brother and _escape_.

Arashi forms and Sho can say he isn’t familiar-_familiar_ with everyone there. But they all get along well enough. Nino’s presence is enough to keep him sane.

And Arashi was supposed to finish up by the time promotions wrapped up. But it didn’t. His time in Johnny’s Entertainment did not stay as simple extra-co-curricular activity like he thought it would have. Like it should have.

**2000**

Sho finds himself arguing more and more with his mother. Some days, he forgets that his oblivious younger brother is watching, he doesn’t think he understands anyway. Less often, he remembers his younger sister is standing by the door watching their arguments. It doesn’t help that university is stressful. Filming is stressful. But he makes some good friends. He hopes.

They’re lounging in bed one night against the soft snores of the Sakurai household with Nino playing with Sho’s ear piercing that Nino brings up a certain topic.

“There’s someone I’m interested in”, Nino says.

Sho holds his breath. He knows it’s not _him_, but there’s still a chance that this person Nino is interested in, _is him_, right?

“She’s cute”.

_She_.

Sho sits up from the bed and moves to sit on the swivel chair at his study desk. He breathes again and his heart wrenches. He stares at Nino who stares back at him.

“Right”. Sho is awkward. This whole atmosphere thing is awkward. He wants to be anywhere but here, in his room, with Nino.

“Yeah”, Nino heaves and then gets up from the bed, “I should probably leave”.

“Yes”, Sho stands up too and walks Nino out of the house.

“I’ll see you tomorrow”, Nino says as he finishes popping his shoes on and nods at Sho at the genkan.

“Eh?” Sho’s heart skips a beat, and then he remembers, they have _work_. Right. “Yes, tomorrow, get home safely”.

Nino lets out a chuckle, “Yes mum”, he says sarcastically before he walks out.

Sho watches and wonders why he’s in this unrequited love. When he sits alone in his bed, he thinks about how long it will take before he gets over Nino. He can barely use Matsujun as comparison. He is very aware that the younger is infatuated with him. Sho doesn’t encourage him. Though he doesn’t dissuade the other either.

Perhaps, if Sho is lucky, by the time the marks Nino left on his inner thighs disappears, he’d be over Nino. Yes, Sho sure hopes that that is the case. He plays with his piercing and pretends that it was Nino who was the one playing with his earring. It wasn’t hard to imagine with his eyes closed and his heart feeling heavy.

When Nino silently asks him about his red and puffy eyes, Sho squints and blames it _studying up late at night_. He wasn’t really. But he isn’t a bad liar. Matsujun pulls him aside and expresses concern, but Sho isn’t in the mood for his worries. When Aiba invites him out for dinner with Ohno, Sho goes, but his appetite is stale, unusually, they don’t ask him directly about his change in demeanour or his physical appearance, but Sho can feel their lingering stares. He doesn’t answer them. Slowly, Sho becomes better at masking his emotions over Nino.

Besides the ending of their friends with benefit relationship, nothing seems to have changed.

Months pass until one night, Nino follows Sho home.

“Nino, don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Sho asks as they stand at the platform, waiting for the train.

“No”, Nino says desolately. “I need to talk to Sho-chan though”.

Sho sighs and adjusts the strap of his bag, “Alright then. I have assignments to work on tonight though, so you can’t stay for long”.

Nino turns to look at Sho and gives him a nod.

They sit on the floor in Sho’s room sipping on cold barley tea – courtesy of Sakurai Mama.

The sound of Sho’s younger brother watching Kamen Rider acts as their background noise.

“We didn’t work out”, Nino says, cutting the tense atmosphere cleanly.

“Oh”, Sho doesn’t look up from his cup of barely tea. “I’m sorry to hear that”, and the truth is, he is. He could tell that Nino _was_ happy with her.

Nino hums in agreement.

Sho doesn’t want to know the details. He isn’t sure what the best thing to say is either. It’s not like he can tell Nino that because _he’s so popular_, he’s bound to find someone else. Especially when Sho wants for Nino to choose him.

“Do you want to stay the night?” Sho asks as he looks up from his barely tea to find Nino staring straight at him. He watches as Nino’s face turns into shock, and an understanding passes through Sho, “No, not like that, we won’t do _anything_, just, maybe you need some company”. Sho bites his lips. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling nervous.

“I’d like that”, Nino responds before he gets up, stretches, digs through Sho’s closet and neither of them show any surprise when Nino’s clothes are still there. As Nino bumbles around preparing for his bath, Sho takes out his assignment and works on that, hoping this is a good enough distraction to get him through the night. Nino plays on his Gameboy whilst Sho studies. Even when they prepare for bed late at night, not much is exchanged between them. Sho does tense up when Nino places an arm around him, but _that’s it_, nothing else.

Their sex friend routine starts up again 2 months later. Perhaps Sho should’ve been more surprised their hormones let them hold out for so long.

**2001**

A new year brings a different girl into Nino’s life, however, it was only temporary and it was more a _fling_ than anything else. It still unnerved Sho though. Because it only further reinstates that Nino is _looking_, and that Sho is just another temporary in Nino’s life.

Sho knows that he’s the odd one here. He’s the one who is not only lusting after another boy, but head over heels for him too.

“Maybe girls aren’t for me?” Nino says as he cards his fingers through Sho’s blond hair.

There’s silence as Nino’s words seep into every crevice of the bedroom. “Me too”, Sho sighs, “I know how you feel”.

Nino turns to look at Sho before immediately placing his hand over Sho’s crotch, “Sho-chan, you’ve never experienced it with women, right?”

Sho doesn’t want to hear this. He doesn’t want to know what Nino has done with other people. If only Nino was his. If only. If. Disappointed and upset with himself and the situation, Sho turns to his side and faces Nino with his back. He grunts.

“Hey”, Nino pulls Sho towards him and presses his lips on Sho’s neck, “don’t be shy”.

Turning around on the bed, Sho looks at Nino and only realises he’s frowning when Nino’s fingers move to smooth out the creases on his forehead.

“You’ll be fine, Sho-chan, one day you will find the one for you”, Nino is encouraging, “someone like Sho-chan will definitely have someone gorgeous by their side”.

Sho’s expression drops.

Nino pauses and Sho can see the other going through his words and wondering if he had said something wrong to upset the other.

“I suppose you’re right”, Sho doesn’t want Nino to _feel bad_ for something he hasn’t a clue about. “The same will apply for Nino”.

Nino hums again as his hands go back to find Sho’s waist, slipping under the other’s tank top to knead at firm skin. Sho rests his hands on Nino’s chest. He breathes in deeply. This is the way things are. Sho convinces himself that this is how it’s mean to be, and it’s easy for Sho, because he _wants_ it. Not specifically this, but _anything_ Nino will give him, he wants it.

Sho doesn’t want to think about what he will _do_ when _all of this_ finally ends. It scares him. But he can’t let go. And he’s very aware of this now.

Nino places a hand behind Sho’s neck and pulls the other in for a kiss, it’s not sloppy or messy, it’s languid and pressing, Sho enjoys that and he feels himself melt in Nino’s hold.

“Nino”, Sho murmurs when their lips separate, they blink blearily at each other before diving in for more and more kisses. Sho likes being pampered in bed, and Nino always does such a good job of it.

“I’ll look after you tonight”, Nino whispers against Sho’s ears.

And Sho wishes that tonight is _every night_.

When Nino spreads Sho apart and pushes his cock into Sho, Sho’s hands dig into Nino’s back and their lips are attached onto each other again, swallowing each other’s moans as their bodies press against each other and the heat is reignited, as they re-familiarise with each other.

When Nino starts playing with his earring again, Sho sighs with content. Everything is _normal_ again.

Things seemed stable again. And Sho still reminds himself every day that _this_ kind of relationship with Nino is better dissolved earlier than later. Because it will dissolve. It won’t last. Especially not when Nino is _such_ a catch. Not when Nino is awfully popular. Not when Nino will continue to look at him the way he does now.

“I’m starting to feel that maybe, Arashi will still be here even after I graduate in a few years”. Sho confesses to Nino. He notes that Nino’s fringe has grown longer and wants to tell the other that perhaps a good trim is needed. Honestly, he likes seeing Nino’s forehead.

Nino nods, “We will all work on Arashi together”. There is no other answer. They have to improve.

**2002**

As they play on the piano together, Sho feels at peace with himself. Their melodies joining together even without a score. Nino hums along as his fingers continue to dance across the keys in rhythm with Sho’s own. It became something they did only on an occasion to pass time. Until it was time to leave for filming of _Mayonaka no Arashi_.

The last episode.

After that is _C no Arashi_.

The weather has been steadily rising. Sho feels warm even in the dead of the night. Nino clearly isn’t bothered either as they both shrug on a light pullover before grabbing their coats as they leave.

Their variety shows have a beginning and an end. Sho can’t help but overlap that into his current relationship with Nino. He knows that there will be an end. It’s one he does not anticipate. It’s one that he’s fearful of. It’s one that he doesn’t want to ever see.

They have hamburger steak for dinner. It’s Nino’s favourite and Sho’s treat. Nino teases Sho’s way of eating and maybe Sho likes it when Nino playfully hits him at his bland and awful comments. Sho likes how comforting it is to be around Nino despite so many things chaotically happening around him.

Sho finds himself dressed as a cat –

“Kitty”, Nino coos as he rests a hand on Sho’s waist and the other twists a butt plug with a tail attached into Sho.

– And sits on Nino’s lap. “Nino~” Sho whines as he rubs himself against Nino.

Nino swallows hard, “Really suits you, Sho-chan”.

Sho moans as Nino continues to play with the butt plug.

“Purr for me, Sho-chan”, Nino urges as he looks up at the other with a smirk.

“Hnn!” Sho squirms and he reaches up to adjust his headband where there are two fake cat ears attached.

“Cute”, Nino breathes out deeply, “purr, meow, Sho-chan, you’re a kitty tonight”.

Sho bites his lips and looks into Nino’s eyes. He removes his hands from his head and then places it on Nino’s chest instead. “N-nyaa”.

“Good boy”, Nino praises and affectionately pats Sho’s butt.

Sho whines as the movement jolts the plug in his ass. Sho rocks his hips and rubs himself against Nino with enthusiasm. The movement causes the straps hanging on Sho’s shoulders to slip. Nino chuckles as he lazily pops the straps back to where they belong as well as he can, “Your sloping shoulders”.

Pouting, Sho turns away. There’s nothing he can do about his shoulders. He rubs at his cheeks hoping to hide the embarrassment, but of course, Nino notices it all.

“Nyaa”, Sho moans out quietly. Hoping it’s enough to convince Nino to _fuck him now_. He wriggles his butt for emphasis.

Nino isn’t stupid. He knows exactly what Sho wants even without words. “I wanted to play for longer, bus since Sho-chan is so impatient”, Nino sighs, but with a smile on his face, he pulls out the butt plug. Sho yelps in surprise, his eyes wide and hands clenching tightly onto Nino’s shoulders.

“Sho-chan makes such a cute kitty”, Nino brings the but plug up to his mouth and gives it a long lick.

Sho can’t help but frown and look at it with some disgust. But when he thinks about it later, it shouldn’t be all to different to the sex between the two. It’s not like Nino’s never eaten him out before. It also feels _really_ good.

“Hurry up Nino”, Sho chokes out.

Nino clicks his tongue, “Sho-chan, you’re still a cat”, and as though he was emphasising his point, he flicks the cat ears Sho’s wearing, “even without your tail”.

Sho frowns, annoyed, but knows that in this kind of situation, unless he does what Nino wants him to do, there’s no way he’s getting what he wants, even if it’s also what _Nino wants_.

_Stupid, isn’t it?_

But it makes Sho hard and crave for it more. Sho folds his fingers into his palm to mimic a paw as closely as he can before he reaches up to his face and nudge himself “Nyaa”, Sho meows. He feels a surge of tingles when Nino smiles down at him in satisfaction.

When Nino finally pushes himself into Sho, Sho _purrs_ deeply from his throat. _Finally, finally_. When Nino pulls out and asks Sho to lick and clean up the _mess_ made, Sho is more than happy to oblige as he diligently cleans Nino’s cock.

“Milk for the kitty”, Nino pats Sho’s head gently.

**2003**

“You can call me Sho-chan”, Nino says with a smug look as he leans comfortably on the couch, looking at Sho.

“Huh?” Sho frowns and looks strangely at Nino. And then it clicks, it’s Nino’s character name in _Stand Up!!_

“Then you can call me Taiyou”, Sho smiles, his own character from _Yoiko no Mikata_.

“Hm, hm”, Nino hums playfully. He gets off the couch, goes to kitchen and takes out his mother’s apron and hands it to Sho.

Sho raises one eyebrow… Nino _can’t_ be serious, right? “I’m not wearing that”, Sho replies.

“Why not? _Taiyou-sensei_~” Nino teases Sho and takes a step forward to blow into Sho’s ear.

Sho crosses his arms across his chest, “That’s your _mother’s_ apron, we’re not defiling it just because you’re horny”.

Nino sighs and shrugs. He puts the apron back and they settle back on the couch, Nino playing games as Sho takes out his notes for university. He’ll be graduating soon. He better do this right. As Nino chuckles at his own game, Sho starts to think that maybe he should hang out with people from university more often. Create some bonds that hopefully will last him a lifetime.

Nino’s older sister walks by and gives them both a strange look. Sho brushes it off with a greeting. It really wasn’t a new sight. Though he supposes that it does look strange that on one side of the couch, one is playing video games whilst on the other side of the couch, one is doing homework.

“You two make an interesting combination”, Nino’s sister comments.

Nino doesn’t even look up as he answers, “Economics seems interesting, but I’ll leave that up to Sho-chan”.

Weeks pass in which Sho does put in effort to hang out with his friends, especially with the weather being _warmer _now, it was nice to just go get a drink after classes.

When Sho finds himself back at his family home and Nino there next to him, he feels suspicion run through him when Nino fumbles with his bag. He has a bad feeling about what Nino has in his bag. The other is mischievous, and never hesitates to be playfully so. And many of those times ends up with Sho nursing his sore hips.

“Here”, Nino says as he throws an apron at Sho, “put it on”.

It’s new. It’s still in its crinkle wrap. The tag was _still_ there too. Sho fumbles a little as he looks at the apron. His bad feelings are coming true. It’s not like he _dislikes_ it… but… well…

“Really, Nino?” Sho sighs.

“It’s Sho-chan”, Nino corrects.

“I’m not calling you _that_”, Sho frowns, because that’s what Nino calls _him_.

Nino shrugs, “Hurry up, _Taiyou_, I want to lose my virginity”. There’s definitely playfulness laced in Nino’s tone.

“You’ve already lost it”, Sho mutters but he unwraps the apron and throws the plastic wrap back at Nino so he can dispose of it. Sho stomps into his bedroom and knows that Nino will follow.

Summer was already hot enough, Sho really didn’t think wearing an apron whilst having sex during summer was the best thing to do to pass time. But clearly, Nino thrived from it.

“You’re still not very flexible”, Nino comments as he pulls Sho’s legs apart.

Sho grunts. This is not new news either. “Just get on with it”, Sho reaches over to pull Nino’s erection out, “it’s hot”.

Nino gives a short laugh as he hovers over Sho and leaves soft kisses all over what he can reach of Sho’s chest, one of his hands slip under the apron and plays with Sho’s belly button ring.

“Come on”, Sho urges, “stop fooling around”.

“Yes, yes”, Nino sighs happily, he flips Sho’s apron to look at Sho’s own erection, standing up proudly, _begging_ for Nino’s attention.

Lubricating his fingers, Nino smirks as he stretches Sho open, humming along happily as Sho releases his own melody of moans. Nino savours the view, Sho spread out with only an apron to cover his nakedness, _gorgeous_.

Nino presses his fingers in deeper and then leans forward to press his own lips against Sho’s plump ones. He’s always felt that Sho’s lips were unfairly plump. They’re softer than what they look, smoother than what they look. It’s time like these in which Nino is truly grateful that Sho is so stubborn with lip balm, so religious with moisturisers.

Sho tightens and his hands fly up to grip onto Nino’s back. If only they could stay like this forever. By the time Nino pushes his lubricated erection into Sho, the apron is covered in sweat and Sho’s own release. It was, to Nino, rather erotic.

Licking his lips at the image of a debauched Sho, Nino only becomes more excited as he thrusts shallowly into Sho, their lips pressing together over and over to smother as many of their moans as they can.

The whole of Sho’s body trembles when he reaches his climax again, he stares listlessly at Nino as his heart pumps quickly, Nino’s thrusts even faster. Sho’s plump lips quiver when Nino releases inside of Sho, filling the other up.

Pulling out, Nino’s tongue traces Sho’s tongue, “Thank you, _Taiyou-sensei_”.

Sho groans and covers his eyes with his arms. He feel sticky and gross. Though if Nino were to go another round, he surely would not mind.

**2004**

One of the reasons as to why Sho accepted Matsujun’s invitation to go drinking after his _Seijin no Hi_ celebration is because Nino had told Sho that he’s going straight home to play console games. Another was because it’s an important date, so why wouldn’t he want to celebrate with someone who means _something_ to him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along?” Sho asks into his phone.

“No, Sho-chan”, Nino replies blandly, “you go enjoy the night with Matsujun”.

“Alright then”, Sho succumbs as he hangs up. He invites the other Arashi members to celebrate Matsujun’s coming of age. But it turns out Aiba and Ohno had started drinking without them anyway, in a different part of town.

“Do you want to join them?” Sho asks as he looks sheepishly at Matsujun.

Matsujun shakes his head, “Let’s not”.

Firstly, they eat a hearty dinner before starting the drinking in private rooms. There is no _bar hopping_ like what they know Ohno and Aiba are accustomed to doing.

Matsujun brings up how lucky and happy he had felt when Sho watched him graduate from high school. And now as well, celebrating his step into adulthood. Sho smiles and reminds Matsujun how proud of the other he is.

Sho doesn’t want to see the love that Matsujun has for him. So he chugs down another beer.

But it doesn’t stop Matsujun from expressing his love in words. His eyes consistently twinkling.

Sho takes another drink. He can pretend he can’t see any of the love. He’s told Matsujun before that _he doesn’t feel the same way towards Matsujun_, it’s still the same now.

“What is this?” Nino is scratching his head, dressed in sweats.

“Sorry”, Matsujun holds a very drunk Sho up and looks uneasily at Nino, “But at the moment, Sho-kun...”

“I know”, Nino grumbles as he reaches out to grab Sho off of Matsujun, “seriously, the only person he struggles to look after is himself”, Nino then mumbles, “this is why I told him to stay out of trouble”.

Matsujun stands almost dumbfoundly and watches as Nino drags Sho into the house. “Thanks, Matsujun”, Nino calls out. Before the door closes, Matsujun manages to get some words out of his throat and ask, “Is there really nothing going on between you and Sho-kun?”

“Hah?” Nino looks exasperated, “Nothing”.

_Nothing_.

“See you tomorrow”, Nino says and this time the front door closes properly.

Dumping Sho into the bed, Nino looks down at Sho and shakes his head. He goes to save his game and turn off the TV before he starts helping Sho undress.

“Nino~” Sho whines and struggles a little on the bed even as Nino works his magic.

“Sho-chan”, Nino sighs, “stop struggling.”

Sho rolls around and stretches his limbs. Nino sighs and looks exasperatedly at the other. He doesn’t give up though as he undresses the other and with a lot of effort, puts Sho into _pyjamas_.

As _punishment_, Nino decides it’s very appropriate to litter Sho’s neck with a some hickeys. After all, if Sho is okay to drinking until late and come back _drunk_, it’s fine for him to cop a couple of hickeys, _for sure_.

It made sense to Nino at that point in time.

Also when Nino jacked off on top of Sho and let his cum spread all over Sho’s exposed tummy, _that was fine too_.

And when Nino fingers Sho open and listens to the squeaks Sho lets out, that is all good. When Nino pushes his erect cock into Sho, that is fine too. Sho doesn’t stay asleep for long as his eyes flutter open and stares with confusion at Nino.

In no time, Sho is in the mood as he wraps his legs around Nino and begs Nino to _pleasure_ him more.

“Ah”, Matsujun says as Nino and Sho walk into the greenroom together. There’s some greeting shared between the members before Matsujun quickly pulls Sho aside and looks at him seriously before he takes out a makeup box and motions for Sho to sit.

There’s a massive hickey on Sho’s neck. Sho doesn’t walk in to work with hickeys. Matsujun glances at Nino, but Nino is already too busy showing Ohno his new game to pay him and Sho any attention.

“Is there still nothing between you and Nino?” Matsujun asks Sho quietly.

Sho looks surprised and looks around to see if there’s anyone listening in – there isn’t, the other members are all busy minding their own business. “What makes you ask that?”

Matsujun looks slightly downcast, “You two are, very close”, but there’s more than that, “and there’s well, I’ll cover it up for you”, Matsujun opens up the makeup box and proceeds to start covering up Sho’s hickey.

“I’m close with everyone”, Sho explains, “there isn’t anything between Nino and I”. Sho cranes his neck and lets Matsujun work, “I wonder where this came from, maybe I hit something when I rolled out of bed”, Sho tries to turn it into a joke. But they both know, that that isn’t the case. Sho glances at Nino, but Nino still doesn’t look up from his game.

“Then, Sho-kun”, Matsujun swallows loudly, “does that mean I-”

“Sorry”, Sho replies straight away, “my answer is still the same”.

Matsujun looks away, his hands gripped tightly into fists.

When Sho graduates from Keio, Nino feels conflicted. Sho suddenly looks like a totally different person to him. However, when Sho treats Nino to hamburger steak for dinner, Nino understands that Sho-chan is _still_ Sho-chan, even if he has such a great achievement under his belt.

**2005**

Nino has found someone else. One he _likes_, he tells Sho how beautiful she is. He tells Sho how perky she is. He tells Sho how charming she is. He tells Sho all the things he likes about her. Sho listens with a small smile on his lips. He’s so much better at this after all those years.

This time, he can engage with Nino and talk about _this_ topic with Nino without feeling like his heart is choking him and reducing him to tears if he so much as breathed.

Nino looks so relaxed, so happy. His smile is filled with youth and so bright, Sho finds it difficult to look too long.

When Nino asks, “Sho-chan, have you found someone you like?”

“No”, Sho answers dryly, he looks away, no longer able to look Nino in the eye, “not yet”. Sho finds he can’t finish watching _Yasashii Jikan_ without bawling his eyes out.

Sho drives to a beach in Chiba and thinks that he hasn’t been lonelier as he listens to Nino’s radio program.

With his hair a little bit more tamed, Sho wonders if he’s changing without him really knowing it.

Nino is all smiles and every day looks _beautiful_ with Nino looking so vibrant. Sho closes his eyes and he can hear Nino’s laughter, and everything _feels right_. When he opens his eyes, he remembers he’s back in reality. Nino still sends him a smile and pulls jokes on him. Nino still is his friend.

That’s right, they were friends to begin with, they always have been friends. They never stopped being friends. That won’t change.

Sho still at least, _has that_.

_Hana Yori Dango_ reaps in praises from their entertainment agency. Sho glances at Matsujun to see the other glow with happiness and pride. Matsujun turns to look at him and Sho doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like the other is _so far away_. Sho returns the other’s smile and he itches to pat the other on the head _like old days_, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even pat Matsujun on the shoulder.

“You’re doing so well”, Sho tells Matsujun, just one of the other hundreds of compliments he’s receiving from everyone else. Matsujun’s smile is captivating and reminds Sho of how far Arashi has come.

Sho watches the drama with Nino and they message Matsujun as they watch. It’s not a genre Sho is comfortable with, but he laughs at the right times and enjoys it when Nino snickers or when Nino points at the television screen and howls in laughter. It’s times like that Sho forgets that Nino has found someone he likes. And that they’re in a _stable_ relationship. He forgets that that person _isn’t _him, _never will be him_.

**2006**

“Why do you like me?” Sho looks at Matsujun and wonders why the other _still_ loves him.

Matsujun elegantly raises one eyebrow, “It’s simple, Sho-kun is Sho-kun, that’s why”.

Sho slumps forward and almost knocks his glass of beer over, “That doesn’t make any sense”.

“Maybe not to you”, Matsujun smiles. It seems bitter. And his words, rather cryptic.

News Zero is a path that is open for Sho, one he fought for. One he earnt. As he removes his piercings and place them in a padded box, he will think that there will no longer be a chance for Nino to play with his earring again. Not that that chance was still there, even without News Zero.

Sho looks solemnly at the padded box for a few minutes before he pushes it into the furthest corner of the drawer. Some things will have to be sacrificed to gain others. He isn’t unaware of it, neither is he new to this concept.

“Sho-chan”, Nino looks with a rather horrified expression at Sho’s drawing.

“Hm?” Sho looks up at Nino and puts his crayon down.

“I don’t think practice will help you…” Aiba mutters on the side. Nino nods in agreement. Matsujun snickers.

Sho frowns. That’s not very encouraging, is it? Plus, he _knows_ the value of his drawings, especially next to Satoshi-kun, it’s the gap that makes the fans howl with laughter and maybe scream in fright too.

“I don’t understand how someone who studied oil painting and calligraphy ends up with… drawings like this…” Nino shakes his head, as he stares at Sho’s drawings.

“It’s not _that_ bad is it?” Sho asks, he looks at Satoshi-kun for confirmation.

Ohno wears a neutral expression and gives them one nod, “You’ve gotten better, Sho-kun”.

Sho smiles and looks proudly at his other group mates.

A few weeks later, Nino sends Sho a photo of what seems to be a portfolio. Another photo follows and Sho stares with shock at the pages that fill the portfolio, all of Sho’s odd doodles from over the years. He can’t believe Nino had kept them. He sure hopes Nino isn’t using it as a book to be read when bored at the coffee table!

When Nino first announced that he got a role in Clinton’s _Ioujima kara no tegami_, Sho had expressed his excitement and happiness for Nino. When Nino said that he had sort of but not really applied for the role, Sho was confused. The other members looked just as confused. Though, after Nino explained how the events had played out, Sho laughed at himself for not understanding how things usually rolled with Nino.

_Of course it went like that_.

Sho was touched when Nino adamantly said that he is Ninomiya Kazunari from _Arashi_. He liked that Nino thought of their group often. It made Sho feel important to be part of such an important group to Nino. Funny, since the two of them were definitely not _keen_ on Arashi to begin with, and now, look where they are.

When Nino started filiming for _Ioujima kara no tegami_, Sho hadn’t realised just how much he’d miss the other.

Sho watched the movie at the cinemas. And he is again, captivated by Nino’s acting.

**2007**

Sho hadn’t realised he would _miss_ Nino so much when Nino went for award collecting in the US for _Ioujima kara no tegami_.

They don’t really message each other when Nino is overseas. And fair enough, Nino probably has never been overseas for such an extended period of time before. He can understand that Nino is _homesick_.

Just not being able to see Nino’s face makes Sho feel _homesick_.

They’re in the greenroom and Nino is distributing souvenirs from the US to the Arashi members when Sho notes that Nino keeps looking at him.

“What is it?” Sho asks quietly, automatically assuming that Nino may not want the attention of all the other members on them. All sorts of scenarios start running through Sho’s head and he feels anxious.

“Nothing”, Nino replies.

Sho frowns. Doubtful. “Did you…”, Sho thinks for a little bit, wondering what Nino could want from him, _ah_, “did you want to go out to eat dinner?”

“I thought you’d never ask”, Nino smirks and gives Sho a nod.

_So_, that was it. They don’t really have dinner _dinner_, they went out to eat gyoza and drink beer in a private room. There’s a lot of fluffing around and mundane chatter. Sho has missed Nino _a lot_. Even when Nino returned from the US, they were _busy_ and couldn’t exactly find time for each other.

Sho tells himself that. He knows that Nino missed his girlfriend more than anyone else. Maybe not his mother. She’ll always be _number one_.

“I also brought this back from the US for you”, Nino says casually as he places a box in Sho’s hand, making sure Sho was holding onto it properly.

Sho looks at the box and he recognises the brand immediately. It’s jewellery. But surely… Nino knows by now that Sho doesn’t really wear earrings or his belly button ring anymore. Sho shakes his head. This is Nino he’s talking to, when he opens the box it’s probably a limited-edition Mario _something_. Because that makes Nino happy. And Nino would think it would make others happy. Or maybe it’s something to take a stab at Sho’s chubby cheeks. Or sloping shoulders. Or lack of useful muscles.

But surely that would be more fun in front of _all_ the other members.

_Ah_, Sho smiles, it’s probably another one of Nino’s magic tricks. He’s been fond of them as of late. Looking up, Sho eyes Nino sceptically.

“What?” Nino is all smug as he looks at Sho, “Open it, you’ll like it”.

That makes it even more suspicious. Nino really doesn’t spend money on _people_ unless there’s something for him to gain out of it. Sho knows this _very well_.

Hesitantly, Sho opens the box and finds a simple silver band staring back at him.

It’s a ring.

Sho swallows hard and he forces himself to think about everything else in this world but what is before him. His eyes feel wet and that must be his hand that’s trembling.

“You don’t like it?” Nino asks, a small amount of confusion tacks onto his question.

Sho takes a moment to reorganise his thoughts before he looks up at Nino with a smile, “I love it”.

Nino returns the smile straight away, “I knew you would, you’ve always liked these kind of accessories”.

_Accessories_. Right. Sho blinks rapidly. He closes the box and leaves it in his lap. “I’ll use it wisely”.

Nino laughs and sits back with his arms supporting his weight, “Your Japanese is funny”.

Sho supposes it is.

“For my favourite member”, Nino says cheerfully as he raises his glass of beer and instigates a toast.

Somewhat begrudgingly, Sho joins in. He forces his lips into a smile for the rest of the night.

When Sho is back in his own room that night, he eyes the box with sad eyes. It’s not like he’s never received gifts from Nino before. But such an expensive ring is a first. He’s never received anything like _this_ from _anyone_. He knows to Nino that it means nothing more than friendship in which he treasures.

But Sho can’t help but let his thoughts wander. After all, it seems like none of Nino’s other friends received one. It made Sho feel _special_. Even if it’s only for Nino’s favourite Arashi member. Even though he _knows_ that Nino already has someone _special_ to him.

_Even so_.

He needs to preserve this friendship.

And preserve the friendship is what Sho strives to excel in. They’re group-mates. It’s the perfect setting. And his job is made even easier when they start filming _Yamada Taro Monogatari_ together. Maybe they have just one too many in-jokes.

“Why don’t you show me another one of your magic tricks?” Sho prompts as they wait on set.

“You’ve never been that interested before though?” Nino looks sceptically at Sho.

Sho shrugs, “Probably because I know you’re going to trick me and show me the _impossible_ again?”

Nino huffs, “Fluffing my ego, are you?”

Sho smiles.

When Nino pulls out Sho’s card from his hair, Sho gasps in astonishment.

Tabe-chan mentions that they both get along really well. Sho smiles widely and nods, “We’re in the same group after all”. It’s not a lie. It’s part truth.

He can do this.

**2008**

Sho reads the newspaper in the greenroom as Nino hums and strums some chords on his guitar. He’s grown use to the sound and the peace. It does however make him become reminiscent over old days. By this point, he has no choice but to not mind that it’s all part of the past, that it only lingers in his memories, occasionally surfacing when Nino does grace him with his presence.

But it’s not the _same_.

Sho fiddles with the dildo in his hand. It’s coated well in lubrication, it’s neither small nor big, it should give him he satisfaction that he craves when he pushes it up himself, but it’s _just not right_. He knew that it would be he case after he caved in and bought it when his fingers could no longer be Nino’s dick anymore.

“You looked after me too”, Nino says quietly to Sho, “when I broke my arm some ten years ago”. Sho remembers it. He didn’t do much to look after Nino. But if Nino felt he did, then he did. He won’t say _no_ to Nino who is offering to pamper him. It’s pretty much a once in a lifetime chance.

“You don’t really need to”, Sho insists but doesn’t mind when Nino walks next to him and holds all of his groceries, “I can handle it myself”.

“_How_?” Nino presses and rolls his eyes, “this is moisturising cream for _five _people”, Nino lifts the bags up to emphasise his point.

Sho shakes his head, “I can do several trips”.

Nino groans and lightly nudges Sho, “Just shut up and let’s go”.

Holding onto his broken arm, Sho wonders if it’s okay for him to feel particularly happy at this point in time. They go to concert rehearsals together, and Nino distributes the goods Sho had bought for the members. Nino pulls out a chair for him to rest on and makes sure that Sho is eating well. Nino uncaps the water bottle for Sho and caps it back for him when he’s done.

Sho basks in the comfort, but also starts feeling awkward when the other members follow suit and start treating him like he needs help for _everything_. It felt extra strange for Matsujun to coddle him when he’s so use to being the one who coddles everyone else. The members don’t waste time to ensure Sho knows that fact either.

But Sho likes coddling the members, who else is going to make sure they’re all stocked with lip balm and hand moisturiser?

They’re watching an episode of _Arashi no Shukudai-kun_ together and even themselves find the variety show awfully funny. Funnier because they were there filming it and remember all the smaller details in-between that were either not filmed or cut out of filming. They’d jab each other and smirk at each other.

To Sho, it felt like things had never changed. He’s grateful for any time he gets to spend with Nino.

When Nino speaks of _her_, Sho tells himself that _it’s okay_.

**2009**

“Sho-kun”, Matsujun asks for Sho’s attention seriously one night as they sit in Matsujun’s apartment, drinking beer.

Sho looks up from his can and at Matsujun, “Hm?”

“You…”, Matsujun swallows hard and then clears his throat, “you’re in love with Nino”.

It wasn’t a question. It was most definitely a _statement_.

Sho’s first thought is to deny it. He wants to deny it. He _doesn’t want_ to be in love with Nino. He knows whole-heartedly that it will _lead him nowhere_. He knows, he has known since 1997. But for some odd reason as he looks at Matsujun’s serious face, he remembers that for _all those years_, Matsujun has always been honest about his feelings for Sho.

Why can’t Sho be strong like Matsujun?

Sho looks away. Swallows hard. And then looks back at Matsujun.

“I’ve always been in love with him”, Sho admits very quietly.

Matsujun takes in a deep breath and blinks _once_.

“Since before Macchan has been in love with me”, Sho steadies his voice. He feel vulnerable, exposing a part of himself he can’t even embrace properly, and to someone else, it makes him feel naked.

The old nickname makes Matsujun blink more rapidly as his eyes dart around with uncertainty.

“I’m really sorry”, Sho admits.

“What for?” Matsujun mutters, “For never telling me? For loving Nino?”

Sho looks down and his expression is solemn, “For giving you hope when I knew there was none”.

Matsujun sighs and sits back, “No, Sho-kun has always told me from the start that that was the case”.

Sho takes a chance and looks at Matsujun, to see how angry the other is. But Matsujun isn’t angry. His expression reflects Sho’s own and that’s when Sho realises that at this point in time, they’re just two friends who are both in an unrequited love.

“It was my choice”, Matsujun says, “to continue to love you”.

Sho feels awful for making Matsujun comfort him this kind of situation. But he lets the other. He still won’t tell what the other should and shouldn’t do. After all, it seems like the only words he can offer the other are all _apologies_.

When Matsujun makes Sho challenge _heights_ over and over again on Arashi’s 10th anniversary, Sho hopes it’s not harassment, but a message from Matsujun for Sho to overcome his fears.

“To ten years!” Sho raises up a glass of beer and looks at each member individually and smiles.

“To ten years!” The members all repeat and raise their glasses too.

“Kanpai!” Rings throughout the small private room as their glasses clink against one another.

The beer is bittersweet against Sho’s tongue. His mouth feels dry and his throat clenches.

They’re all eating at Matsujun’s favourite yakiniku restaurant to celebrate Arashi’s 10th anniversary. It was no different to celebrating all of Arashi’s other birthdays.

Just that, this one was a bold statement of how _far_ they’ve come. How the fruits of all their efforts bloom into something greater.

Ten years ago, Sho had thought that this would _never _be a permanent thing.

Ten years ago, Nino had thought that Arashi would collapse.

Ten years ago, Ohno had thought that his life would be drastically different to what it is now.

Ten years ago, Aiba had thought that things will be alright so long as they work hard.

Ten years ago, Matsujun had thought that this group of _five boys_ was perfect.

But here they all are, still together and thriving.

That night, Nino messages Sho, laughing over how things would’ve been so different if Sho had followed in his father’s footsteps and if Nino had abandoned everything to immerse himself in the world of acting. Sho reads the message with a fond smile. He does believe that most things would be drastically different. But some things will always be the same.

He’s glad that things have worked out the way it has though.

When they perform at Disneysea with the performers of Disneysea, Sho’s heart races. It was all sorts of fun, an experience he doesn’t think he can ever forget. It honestly felt like he was in a dream. A dream where in this land of happiness, he’d be _happy_.

But that is not reality.

**2010**

“You’ve lost weight”, Nino look tiredly at Sho.

Sho looks back and he feels like he’s seeing a mirror image, almost, “So have you, Nino”.

The thing though is… Sho lost weight for his drama last year and for the AnAn photoshoot earlier this year. Nino’s weight loss has to do with the ending of his relationship with his former girlfriend.

Either way, it wasn’t good.

Sho doesn’t approach Nino directly when he learns of Nino’s break-up. Sho doesn’t wish that he was Satoshi-kun’s shoulder when Nino leans on Ohno. Sho doesn’t wish that he was Aiba’s back. Sho doesn’t wish that he was Matsujun when Nino asked Matsujun to play Mario with him.

Because Nino confided in him. And Sho sat like a stone, heart heavy and cold as he listened uncomfortably to Nino. All he wanted to do was wrap his hands around Nino and tell Nino that _everything will be okay_, because Nino will eventually find someone gorgeous who can stand beside him, because Nino will eventually find someone who can continue his family name and light his family up in smiles.

That person isn’t Sakurai Sho though.

At least Nino can offer a laugh from the heart when he sees Sho in Mannequin Five. It’s not the first time Sho has thought he’s glad he can entertain his group members with his hilarious gap failure.

The year goes by slowly. Nino is quieter, more subdued when the cameras aren’t rolling. He doesn’t reach out to jab at Sho’s air muscles. He doesn’t walk with a spring in his steps. Sho gives Nino time. He is certain Nino will eventually come around again.

Matsujun looks warily at Sho who looks at Nino.

Sho knows that Matsujun tries to stop staring. Sho knows that Matsujun tries to not sit as close. Sho knows that Matsujun tries to _stop oogling and touching_. Though the longer Sho thinks, the more hazy it becomes, he can’t remember when Matsujun first started keeping a distance.

It’s kind of awkward. But, it’s not like it’s greatly uncomfortable.

It’s Christmas eve when Nino drags Sho over to his apartment. They dine in and even have a yule log cake to share. It all seems to _romantic_, but he knows that’s not the relationship they have. Sho doesn’t need Nino to tell him to know that Nino feels lonely. His first Christmas that he’s spending without his girlfriend.

To Arashi, it’s concert season.

“Have you found anyone yet?” Nino asks when the clock strikes 12AM.

Sho shakes his head. He wouldn’t be here with Nino if he did find someone else.

“Alright”, is all Nino says before he pulls Sho into the bedroom and pushes Sho into the bed.

“Nino”, Sho looks up at Nino with a frown. It isn’t like Nino to be so… _rough_.

When Nino swoops down and presses their lips together in a passionate kiss, Sho knows that they’re starting their friends with benefits relationship again. He had secretly hoped that that would be the case.

Sho is lying face down, ass up when something drops in front of his face.

It’s a magazine. To be more specific, it’s the one where Sho had graced the covers earlier this year which prompted a reprint of the magazine.

“Wh-what?” Sho is surprised and turns his head around to look at Nino who looks down at him smugly. “Why do you even have this?”

“I have two copies”, Nino says.

Sho doesn’t believe Nino. No way would Nino spend money on _something like that_, and for _two_ copies? Hah, what a joke.

“Why bring it out now? Almost 12 months later”, Sho’s frown deepens, he isn’t sure where Nino is heading with this.

“So erotic”, Nino says as he leans over Sho, chest pressed against back and he flips through the magazine, “You look so beautiful here”.

“It’s all photoshopped”, Sho supplies meekly as he squirms under Nino’s close proximity, still not use to the touch after not experiencing it for so long.

“So sensitive”, Nino notes and then turns his attention back onto the magazine, “Sho-chan looks so good in the magazine, but better in person”.

“Nino, stop”, Sho gasps when he feels Nino press against his skin and fingers dance across his limbs, “you’re embarrassing”.

There is no stopping though. “How many people have seen Sho-chan like this in person?” Nino wonders out aloud, “How many have had Sho-chan under them, legs spread and moaning for _more?_”

Sho swallows hard and turns his head back straight. He now knows where this is going. He bucks his hips back into Nino, making sure that Nino can press is clothed erection against Sho’s ass.

“No one else, Nino”, Sho replies.

“No one else?” Nino asks incredulously, as though he doesn’t believe Sho at all.

Sho nods in affirmation, “No one else”.

Sho’s pants and underwear are pulled off and Sho gasps loudly when Nino’s fingers press into him. He hadn’t even realised when Nino had lubricated his fingers.

“No one else has fucked this hole?” Nino asks.

“No one, Nino”, Sho replies honestly, _how_ could there have been?

“Even when Sho-chan is such a slut for cock?” Nino whispers into Sho’s ear, “Jun hasn’t?”

Sho shudders and he swears he doesn’t like being degraded like that, even if his legs spread more and his neck stretches more, hoping Nino will bite him and leave marks. “No, of course not”.

Tears come flooding out when Nino finally pushes his lubricated erection into Sho. It’s exactly like Sho remembered. The burn, the warmth, the pull and the smell. They were all things Sho couldn’t recreate without Nino. They were all things Sho lusted after and craved every night.

And now it’s back.

But it doesn’t make Sho happy.

Sho thinks that Nino has really developed some weird kinks when he asks Sho to read out the news whilst they fuck. With time though, Sho comes to enjoy it and he comes to understand that perhaps he’s just as weird.

**2011**

Nino tries to see someone else but it doesn’t work out. He still can’t say he’s fully over his last long-term relationship, only long-term relationship. It makes everything else feel like a fling. He feels himself being chipped at, his pride corroding and he’s becoming someone who he doesn’t recognise at all.

He chugs another can of beer. It pools warmly in his belly. He pushes his hair out of his eyes and sighs deeply. He feels like a mess even 12 months after.

Going through his phone, Nino swipes through contact after contact. Conversation after conversation and he feels even more like _shit_.

His eyes land on Sho-chan’s contact information. After hesitating for a little bit. Nino presses into their conversation and message the other. Informing Sho that he will be coming over tonight if Sho has time.

Sho responds straight away with a simple _okay_.

Nino can’t tell what the tone is. But it doesn’t matter, it’s still _okay_. He knows that Sho plans his time to the dot. So he hopes that he isn’t interrupting anything important. He’s sure Sho would let him know regardless.

Smelling like alcohol, Nino makes his way to Sho’s place. The taxi driver is subtle and doesn’t pry. Nino isn’t in the mood to give anyone a kind smile or offer small chatter or nod along as someone tells them that they know _he’s a celebrity_.

He hears enough of it every day.

It’s also the life he has chosen.

Nino drops by the convenience store to grab some more beer before he makes his way to Sho’s place. Sho opens the door and greets Nino with a concerned look. Nino silently scoffs, _of course_ the mother hen is concerned, he did message late at night, out of the blue.

“Nino”, Sho says quietly as he lets Nino into his place.

“Sho-chan”, Nino responds just as quietly. He steps foot inside, removing his shoes at the genkan and passing the beer to Sho.

“You’re drunk…?” Sho observes Nino and takes a peek at the contents of the plastic bag, only to find more beer in there.

Nino grumbles as he stumbles in. He sighs as he leans forward and sniffs Sho. “I’m not drunk, you know that”.

Sho’s frown deepens, “You start early tomorrow too”, Sho pulls Nino into the bathroom, “good thing I got the bath going for you”.

Nino laughs lightly, of course Sho did all that for him. He looks at Sho and wonders if that frown is going to be permanent.

Stripping off his clothes, Nino gets ready to freshen up. He appreciates the glass of water Sho brings him. And honestly, he laughs when he makes eye contact with Sho who sits on the tiled floor watching him bath. Just in case Nino was drunk and drowns himself in Sho’s bathtub.

They don’t talk, not even when Sho takes off his own clothes and joins Nino in the bath. Not even when their hands automatically go to start touching each other. Not even when Nino starts teasing Sho’s nipples.

There’s no warning about how slippery the bathtub is, they both know it well. Their mouth presses against skin, their hands are also on skin. Sho keeps his eyes close as he lets himself lose to the pleasure.

Even if this is not ideal, Sho sometimes can’t believe that he has Nino like this, back in his life like this again. There are other days in which Sho tells himself that this is wrong, that he shouldn’t have succumbed, that in the end, Nino will leave again.

Nino is incessant with kisses, he knows where he can’t leave marks. He knows where he can leave marks. Sho’s skin is always soft and pristine looking. He knows it’s because Sho looks after his skin well. Nino must admit he doesn’t moisturise as much as he should. There are days where he just can’t be bothered. But at this point in time, Nino is glad that Sho has made a routine out of it. The press of Sho against him feels good. It’s inviting and it leaves Nino craving more.

Very rarely will Nino wonder why he will keep coming back to Sho-chan for comfort. He knows he’s feeling lonely and seeking out companionship. But there are other people to choose. Nino cups Sho’s faces and presses his thumbs into Sho’s cheeks gently. Sho’s eyes are closed and Nino observes the droplets of water on the other’s lashes.

Maybe it’s because he’s known Sho for so long. That in itself is an extra layer of comfort. Nino leans in and presses their nose together. He hears and feels Sho sigh. He wonders if Sho is just as comforted as Nino is.

There are days in which Nino does wonder where Sho was seeking comfort from, if not from Nino. He never really asked, and when he did, Sho would brush it off.

But that shouldn’t matter.

They both sleep like a doll after sex.

When Sho wakes up the next morning, his bed is empty save himself. He gets out and makes way to his kitchen and notes that Nino has eaten and cleaned his dishes and left them on the drying rack. Sho opens the fridge and finds the convenience store beer in the fridge, exactly where he placed them the night before. Sho scratches his head and rubs his backside gently as he walks back into his bedroom, he reaches over for his phone and checks for messages from Nino.

There’s one that was sent at 5:30AM, Nino apologising for intruding last night and for his selfishness. Sho smiles sadly. If anyone, he was the selfish one. He sighs and lets his phone slip from his hands.

Perhaps they were too young when this all started. Perhaps Sho is still too invested in a relationship that won’t ever flourish.

**2012**

“Here”, Nino gives Sho his spare key and says quietly, “I’ll be home after I get back from my friend’s wedding”.

“Oh”, Sho takes the key and wills his heart to stop doing somersaults, “okay, thank you”.

They pack up the rest of their belongings and their meeting for Arafes concludes.

“I’ll message you”, Nino assures Sho.

“Alright”, Sho nods. It’s days like this where he feels so happy that Nino responds to his message and doesn’t just leave him on _read_.

Matsujun looks at Sho and his eyes are unwavering. It feels as though Matsujun stares right into Sho’s soul and knows exactly this _game_ that is between Nino and Sho.

Sho finds it increasingly difficulty to look at Matsujun. Especially when the other has been so adamant about keeping a distance. And Sho doesn’t blame him.

None of the members comment on the exchange between Sho and Nino. Knowing that it’s _private_ and not an open party for the rest of the members to join and crash Nino’s place. Sho gives Nino a smile, “Enjoy the wedding”, he tells the other.

Nino smiles back and gives the other a nod.

Sho holds onto the spare key tightly. It feels warm in his palm. He knows he shouldn’t think too much about it. But his brain doesn’t slow down and supplies him with all sorts of reasons as to why he should be happy to receive Nino’s spare key.

It’s only temporary. Sho knows that. But it makes his world light up even more.

The next night, Sho takes his laptop with him and treks over to Nino’s place. His heart is hammering as he enters with the spare key, the security guard at the entrance of the complex doesn’t even bat an eyelid at him. He’s glad he doesn’t run into any of Nino’s neighbours. He really doesn’t think he can contain his smile at the moment. Though he’s sure a smile in public is all he needs to wield. Still.

Sho walks in to the building and says his greetings as he removes his shoes. There’s a bit of nervousness running through him as he turns off the alarm. He sets his belongings at the dining table before leaving the spare key on the kitchen bench after he locks the door.

He eats his take-away dinner by himself and listens comfortably to the sound of the clock tick. He knows Nino won’t be back soon, but he’s glad that Nino had wanted him to wait here for him to return. Sho checks his schedule and notes that apart from cleaning up, he only has work left to do for the rest of the night.

Maybe he’ll practice some steps for some of the songs in Arafes after letting his dinner digest.

When Nino finally returns, his mop of yellow hair radiates brightly in the room. Sho walks over and greets him cheerfully. He can smell the alcohol. Nino looks up with a lazy smirk. “I hope you weren’t too bored”.

Sho shakes his head, he kept himself busy with work.

Nino sighs as he loops his arms around Sho’s neck and pulls Sho in for a kiss. Sho can taste smoke. It unfortunately, always reminds him of Nino. Sho responds passionately to the kiss, his hands going to hold onto Nino’s arms.

From the way Nino is holding onto him, Sho knows that the other must feel lonely. Ideally, if Sho was just a friend, they’d talk about it. But they’re _friends with benefits_, so the sex comes first. The talk can come later for them. If they ever get there.

Nino bends Sho over the arm of his couch and fucks into him. One, twice, thrice. Sho is dizzy and covered in Nino’s cum, inside and out, by the time he comes to. He feels a very comfortable sense of soreness on his buttocks and relaxed as well.

Sho limps over to the bathroom with Nino’s support and starts cleaning himself up. He doesn’t know whether he should be thanking Nino when Nino starts cleaning his arse out, he’s sure there’s more efficient ways to do so instead of putting Nino’s erect dick again where it was not too long ago. But Sho doesn’t complain.

He likes sex with Nino.

And when Nino gets into this kind of sex-fiend phase, Sho feels like he can only benefit from it.

“My friends are getting married”, Nino starts the conversation as he smokes on the veranda in only a pair of pants, the breeze tossing his hair and caressing his skin.

Sho hums, he knows, so are his friends. And Nino _just _returned from a wedding after all. He wonders if this is the root of Nino’s troubles as of late.

_Marriage_.

“But here I am”, Nino looks at Sho and gives him a sad smile, “fucking my friend whilst sporting this ridiculously coloured hair”.

Sho scrunches his nose at Nino’s bluntness. “Your hair, can’t be helped, it’s for work”.

Nino sighs and continues his smoke, “I am often thinking about marriage myself”, Nino reveals.

Sho hums to show that he’s listening.

“Doesn’t Sho-chan think about marriage?” Nino asks as he plays with his cigarette.

“Mmmm, sometimes”, Sho admits, but there’s something he knows for sure, “it’s unlikely I’ll get married though”. He knows by now, Nino surely knows why. Sho still has _no experience_ with women. He doesn’t even know whether he can get it up with someone of the opposite gender, or with anyone that isn’t Nino.

“Is that so”, Nino finishes his smoke.

There’s a comfortable but fragile silence between them.

“Things that I want”, Nino looks out into the night sky, “seems almost unattainable”.

Looking at Nino, Sho feels a heavy sense of understanding, “I know what you mean”.

Nino doesn’t turn back to look at him.

**2013**

“Are you still sleeping with Sho-kun?” Matsujun asks as he and Nino start on the sushi they were served.

Nino sucks in a deep breath, he raises his eyes to look at Matsujun and try to gauge what kind of reaction would be appropriate. None of the members have actually come up to him and addressed the intimate relationship he has with Sho. Why _now_ of all times though. Matsujun has been in love with Sho since their Junior days. Why the question now.

“Are you still in love with Sho-chan?” Nino asks back.

They both know the answer to both of the questions. It really shouldn’t be something that needs to be said out aloud. It also wasn’t what Nino expected them to be discussing when Matsujun invited him out for dinner.

And Nino hates that he’s in this situation. He doesn’t need to be talking about Sho with Matsujun in this kind of context. He can’t even begin to imagine how Matsujun feels about all of this, the recipient of his affections sleeping with his friend. It’s an odd and complicated situation for Nino.

He wonders if Matsujun has ever tried to sleep with Sho. Sho has denied it every time Nino has asked. But then, why does Nino care? Is it because if Matsujun has, they’ll now be same-hole friends? The thought is crude and disgusting. It makes Nino blanch.

“Sho-chan won’t sleep with you, he won’t do that to you knowing you love him, he isn’t that type of person”, Nino says calmly, as though he was dissecting a novel for language classes.

“But you would?” Matsujun asks just as calmly, he sits back and really _looks_ at Nino.

Nino’s back is hunched, but his head tilts up and looks at Matsujun strangely, “What do you mean?” Nino’s eyebrows furrow, “I’m not going to sleep with you if that’s what all _this_ is about”.

Matsujun sighs and shakes his head, “I don’t like you like that, Nino”, Matsujun reassures. He doesn’t tell Nino that _that _isn’t what he had meant either.

“I thought so, J”, Nino places his chopsticks down and tries to wash down the dryness in his mouth with some beer.

Even though Matsujun didn’t say it, Nino believes he heard Matsujun’s message loud and clear. He doesn’t think it’s good that Nino and Sho are friends with benefits. Nino wants to think that it doesn’t concern Matsujun.

Yet when Nino goes over to Sho’s place next, the conversation he had with Matsujun lingers at the back of his mind.

**2014**

They watch Matsujun’s _Shitsuren Chocolatier_ together and parody the romance scenes between them. They hadn’t mean to make fun of Matsujun or the series, but it just happened that the romance scenes became funny for them when Nino and Sho acted it out on basic budget in one of their apartments.

After laughing all they want, with minimal attention on the screen and what Matsujun’s character is actually doing, they smooch more and more, their hands go wandering and before Sho knows it, he’s on his back, legs spread and moaning out Nino’s name over and over.

Nino doesn’t even check the corridor for anyone when he slips inside of Sho’s hotel room. He knows that they’ve had a long day, with their The Digitalian concert earlier that day.

“Give me a massage”, Nino requests as he immediately flops onto Sho’s bed. Sho raises one eyebrow and closes his laptop before he moves from the table and closes the distance between him and Nino.

“We have people to gives you massages, Nino”, Sho plucks the spare keycard from Nino’s hand and places it on the bedside table, “Also, don’t go around stealing the spare keycard into my room”.

Nino rolls his eyes, “Have some fun, Sho-chan”.

Sho sighs, he concedes, “I’ll only do your back”.

“And shoulders”, Nino adds cheekily. “I’ll return the favour, don’t worry”.

“You’re so sly, Nino”, Sho says.

Nino shrugs before he rolls onto his stomach and waits for Sho to massage his back.

Carefully, Sho kneads Nino’s back, rolling out the muscles and pressing them without too much force.

“That’s not bad Sho-chan”, Nino compliments as he smiles lazily into the pillow.

Sho hums and wonders why Nino was here in the first place, surely to not just get a massage and give one in return, right? Sho scrunches up his nose when he understands that this will most likely lead to sex. It kind of is typical for it to do so.

_Yeah_.

Maybe he is in the mood. The more he thinks about it, the more he does want it, so yes, maybe that is so.

“Okay Sho-chan”, Nino says as he gets up and motions for Sho to lie down instead. “Thank you”, Nino says, for the massage and for Sho for listening so well to him.

Sho nods and lies down on the bed, he shimmies his pants off but comes to a stop when Nino gives him a strange look.

“Why are you taking your pants off, Sho-chan?” Nino asks, unsure what was happening.

“Oh”, Sho pulls his pants back on, “I thought for sure you wanted to give me a prostate massage or… something like that”.

Nino’s lips immediately widen and crooks into his trademark smirk, “Oh-ho, Sho-chan wants to do naughty things?”

“Well…”, Sho glances at the clock, “we still have a concert tomorrow… but, since Nino is here already, surely it must mean you want to too?”

Nino shakes his head and then grabs Sho’s pants and pulls it off swiftly, “You caught me there, Sho-chan”, Nino is gleeful as he looks at the other.

As Nino rummages through Sho’s baggage for lube, Sho thinks maybe Nino had really just wanted to give him a proper massage instead of pounding him into the bed. Either way, he likes both, he isn’t going to comaplain.

“Got it!” Nino says triumphantly once he fishes out the lubrication. “Time for your long-awaited prostate massage”.

Sho can only laugh weakly. He holds one leg up and hooks the other around Nino’s waist. Nino doesn’t wait and squeezes the gel onto his fingers, spreads them quickly and then starts nudging at Sho’s entrance.

“So cute, Sho-chan”, Nino says happily.

Sho bucks his hips and asks for Nino to push more into him. Slowly, one finger does push in into the knuckle, it moves around sideways and in and out, Nino occasionally curling that finger so that it catches on the rim of Sho’s hole when he does pull the finger out. One finger becomes two and two becomes three. When there were three, Sho lets out a long moan when Nino finally decides to press against his prostate. Sho’s muscles contract and he moans again when Nino lets out a low whistle.

Nino continues to increase the amount of attention he directs to Sho’s prostate slowly, bit by bit, each time, his grin becoming wider as he studies Sho’s expression. He loves watches Sho become so blissed out, and all from Nino massaging his prostate. It made him feel so powerful that he could render Sho-chan to this point.

Where mere hours ago, Sho was charismatic and almost unreachable when on stage.

Nino leans in to press his lips against Sho’s jawline as his fingers continue massaging Sho’s prostate, he kisses Sho and maps out Sho’s mouth with his tongue. Eventually Nino’s mouth makes it to Sho’s ear as he whispers dirty words to coax Sho to cum.

And Sho does.

Sho is panting as his eyes try to focus on Nino, his whole body feels like it’s spasming as an after effect from reaching his release. “What about you, Nino?” Sho asks as he gestures to Nino’s hard-on hidden terribly beneath his pants.

Nino takes his pants off.

Sho swallows loudly, “I could suck you off”, he offers.

Nino shakes his head as he reaches for the lubrication again and spreads a fair amount on his erection, “Want to cum inside you, Sho-chan”.

“Eh”, Sho huffs, “Nino, no, I just released, I’m not young anymore, I can’t-”

“You can”, Nino assures, “Sho-chan can come dry”. He wraps a hand tightly around Sho’s now limp dick.

Sho narrows his eyes but nods and gives Nino permission to press his erection against his prostate regardless. It was definitely very pleasurable. And at one point in time, Sho was sure all he could think about was Nino inside of him and how he’d love for time to stop so they could stay like that forever.

That night, Sho comes dry for the first time.

**2015**

“You seem rather close with Kikuchi”, Nino states as he flips through Myojo.

“Hm?” Sho glances at the magazine and wonders if someone of Nino’s age and social standing still reads _Myojo_. “Ah, yes, Sexy Zone’s Fuuma”, Sho nods a few times, “He’s got a good personality”.

“You guys started going out to eat last year right?” Nino asks.

Sho hums in agreement, “Yeah, after Sochi”, Sho looks at the magazine again, “I think he talked about it there”.

Nino nods, “He did, he did”.

“As expected of Sho-chan, you’re littered with fanboys”, Nino stretches his limbs as he places the magazine back on the coffee table, “KAT-TUN’s Ueda worships you, doesn’t he?”

Sho squirms a little in his seat as he makes room for Nino as he takes up more of the couch.

“He’s a good kouhai”, Sho stresses, not sure why Nino is acting so suspicious about this all of a sudden.

“And J is still in love with you”, Nino mutters.

“Eh?” Sho sits up tight, “He is not”, Sho says with finality.

Sho raises one eye brow and gives Sho a _are you serious_ look.

“Does he?” Sho asks quietly as though _someone else_ could be listening in. “I mean he barely _looks_ at me these days”.

Nino sighs, “That’s exactly it”, Nino nudges Sho with his foot, “you’re really slow in this area, Sho-chan”.

“No”, Sho denies, “Matsujun just use to admire me a lot, things are different now”, Sho nods to himself, hat has to be it, that _must_ be it.

“Sho-chan”, Nino pushes himself up on the couch and looks at Sho with a serious expression.

Sho blinks and looks at Nino. He isn’t intimidated.

“No, never mind”, Nino sighs and then lays back down lazily on the couch.

There’s no way Nino can tell Sho that his kouhai might be more than just whole-heartedly worshipping him. There’s no way Nino can tell Sho that Matsujun has come up to him before and told him to stop _fucking around with Sho-kun_.

So long as they both haven’t found someone - Nino crosses his ankles and leaves them sitting in Sho’s lap - they’ll keep this sex friend relationship.

**2016**

“There’s no one you have found you want to go steady with?” Sho asks before he lets Nino push him into his bed.

“No, not yet, Sho-chan”, Nino admits before he leans in to have a taste of Sho’s plump lips. They taste like shellfish, Sho’s most favourite seafood. “What about you, Sho-chan?” Nino asks for the sake of it. He has an inkling feeling however.

Sho shakes his head and lets out a sigh as he looks at Nino, “Same old, same old”.

Both their expressions relax as they lean in and kiss again, their hands knead into each other as they continue this _game _of theirs. Sho rolls over and looks down at Nino instead, “This time, I’m riding you”, Sho declares.

Nino lets out a huff of air and his face is painted with a lazy smile again, “Go ahead”, he tells Sho as he unzips the other’s pants. Sho pulls off the rest of his pants and underwear before he goes to pull Nino’s ones of. With Nino’s help, it comes off easily.

Tugging at Nino’s dick gently, Sho examines it as though it’s his first time seeing Nino’s dick. Nino is amused and lets Sho continue with his ministrations. He was however caught by surprise when Sho suddenly takes Nino’s dick into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around the head and giving it a long suck.

Immediately, Nino’s hands go to grasp onto Sho’s hair and he _pulls_ and _pushes _so that he can put more of his hardening cock into Sho’s warm and wet mouth. It was so accommodating.

Sho sucks a few more times before he releases Nino’s dick with a pop and then starts licking he underside and stroking the length, watching as Nino’s cock hardens under Sho’s attention, “Much better”, Sho says softly, smiling with satisfaction at Nino’s now erection.

Nino takes out the lube from the bedside table and passes it to Sho who then lathers on a good amount onto Nino’s dick before he uses the rest on his fingers to spread and smear over his anal walls.

“Oh-ho”, Nino looks cheekily at Sho and holds the other by the wait now instead of his hair, “did Sho-chan have some fun earlier?”

Sho winces as he removes his fingers, his eyes still on Nino, “I prepared myself”.

Nino shrugs, but smile still on his face, “Still fun”.

Sho doesn’t say anything else when he then positions himself over Nino’s well lubricated cock and guides it into himself. He bites his bottom lip and keeps his eyes on Nino as it takes several goes for Nino’s cock to then push into Sho’s entrance.

The head is warm and familiar. It makes Sho feel so weak. But he made a decision to ride Nino tonight, and so that will be his goal. He tells himself to concentrate and to use his thighs as he lowers himself onto Nino’s erection.

Breathing in deeply and slowly, Sho shudders as Nino pushes deeper and deeper into him. He swears Nino feels deeper than usual. And when Nino’s balls finally hit Sho’s buttocks, Sho shakily takes one hand to place under his shirt, over his chiselled abs and he _presses_.

“Oh!” They both exclaim.

Nino has a new glint in his eyes as his hands fly up to remove Sho’s shirt straight away. His eyes sparkle with excitement when Sho’s stomach is exposed and Nino’s eyes stare right at it, his hand filled with enthusiasm as his fingers dance closely next to Sho’s own. He presses and smiles gleefully when he feels that pressure against his own cock. Inside of Sho.

“Sensitive”, Sho moans out as his hand grabs onto Nino and positions it better over his stomach to lie over where Nino’s cock was buried inside of Sho. “I feel really good”, Sho admits.

“Me too”, Nino agrees.

They stay like that for a short while, with Nino and Sho both caressing Sho’s stomach and tracing over the outline of Nino’s cock. It wasn’t a field they dwelled in often, but not it made them both anticipate more for what was to come.

When Sho is finally ready to move, he ends up placing his hands on either side of Nino, his back hunched forward as he tries to pleasure both himself and Nino. They pick up a fun rhythm, Nino good at matching Sho’s tempo as they get off with each other.

Sho wonders _why_ Nino can’t be the person he wants to go steady with. _No_, he wonders why _he_ isn’t the person in which Nino wants to go steady with.

**2017**

When Nino informs him that it seems like he has found someone he wants to go steady with, Sho closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. He tells himself that this isn’t _new_, that he shouldn’t be acting so emotional about it, that it was bound to happen, that he been through it before, this time will be no different.

“Congratulations”, Sho says and wears a wide smile. He pulls the other in for a tight but short hug. He lets go of Nino and then waves and walks out of Nino’s apartment.

Thing pass by like a blur and Sho finds himself curled up in his own bed sobbing. He should’ve forced himself to move on years ago. He should’ve never agreed to this friends with benefits scheme with Nino.

Sho wakes up the next morning and knows how hideous he looks. He doesn’t even bother as he heads straight to work. They have filming for _VS Arashi_. Sho pats himself on the back and tells himself to behave normally. He walks in, greets the members like usual, and waits for his turn to have his makeup done as he munches on his fruits and combs through the newspaper.

_Nothing has changed_. Sho reminds himself, it’s just another day.

“Sho-chan”, Nino comes up to him, his Nintendo switch left on the couch.

“Nino”, Sho nods and folds his newspaper to see what he can do for the other.

When Nino cups his cheeks and presses his fingers against his lower lid, Sho flinches for just a second before he calms down. “Are you not taking care of yourself again?” Nino asks in a low tone.

Sho frowns, he’s been taking care of himself, just like usual, “I have, why?” Sho starts touching his own face, wondering if something was wrong that he hadn’t noticed in the blur of the morning in which he woke up in.

“Your lids are red and puffy”, Nino says with concern.

_Shit_. Sho is quick on his feet though, as he easily whips up an excuse, “I had an argument with my mother last night, nothing to worry about”.

Nino seems to accept the explanation. He does sigh and tell Sho to better take care of himself, because makeup can only hide so much. Sho knows that Nino rarely argues with his mother. But it’s well known amongst them that Sho _still _argues with his mother often, despite the love they have for each other.

Sho doesn’t miss the look in which Matsujun gives him. He says nothing when Matsujun takes a seat next to him and offers him an icepack. Sho leaves it on until it’s his turn to have his face painted and ready for filming.

When Sho drives to the beach in Chiba, he’s listening o Nino sing on repeat. It’s supposed to be comforting, but it seems that all it brings is heartache for Sho.

The topic of Arashi _ending _comes up again and Sho finds he’s honestly, finding it hard to think about it with a clear mind. But he tries his best, because it is obviously important, to him and everyone related. He blinks slowly and tries to clear his mind so he can best discuss this with everyone. He sits next to Ohno and listens intently, Nino sits next to him and Sho tenses straight away but also relaxes just as quickly.

When they plan, discuss and record for _Untitled_, the member solos becomes groups solo and Sho finds it intriguing and a concept that makes things seem fresh. His heart beats a bit faster when he watches Nino and Aiba’s idea come to life.

He’s longing, he’s yearning.

They still do things together in their free time. It’s Nino’s way of reminding Sho that they’re still, despite everything, really good friends. But Sho wants so much more than that, even now when he knows that he can’t ever have that with Nino.

**2018**

The next time Sho is at Nino’s place eating dinner, Nino tells him that he had broken up with his girlfriend. Sho almost chokes on his pasta before he hesitantly looks at Nino.

“You’re not going to ask me why?” Nino picks at the pasta, his eyes flicker between Sho’s face and their dinner.

“I’ve never asked why”, Sho answers quietly.

In the background, the evening news plays.

“I see”, Nino places his chopsticks down and leans back onto his char, “but don’t you want to know?”

“Eh?” Sho places his own chopsticks down as well and looks strangely at Nino.

“Because”, Nino says and Sho suddenly feels a sense of dread build in his stomach and climb up his throat, “Sho-chan is in love with me”.

The flood gates are open and Sho finds himself feeling as though he’s drowning.

“Sho-chan?” Nino repeats his name when Sho says nothing.

“I’m sorry”, Sho croaks out.

“I see”, Nino says with an even tone, his eyes not leaving Sho.

“I want to be with you, even if it’s just like before”, Sho says seriously with a quiet voice, “I’m sorry I never said anything about it, hid it from you for… so long”, Sho’s eyes don’t waver as he looks at Nino’s own unwavering eyes. “I’m sorry”, Sho repeats and then looks down, “I know it’s disgusting”.

“Were you going to never tell me?” Nino asks just as quietly.

Sho catches Nino’s gaze again and swallows thickly. The answer is _yes_. He had no plans to tell Nino. After all, it’s obvious that nothing will come to fruit with his confession.

Nino takes Sho’s silence as his answer. When Nino breaks eye contact and gets up and walks into the kitchen to go pour himself some water, it’s when Sho looks down at his own lap and feels waves of regret, disappointment and relief.

“I’m going to take my leave”, Sho announces as he grabs his bag, “thank you for dinner”, and he goes to put his shoes on. He doesn’t wait for Nino’s answer even though he can hear Nino shuffling and heading towards the genkan.

Sho bolts out of Nino’s apartment and sprint all the way. He pretends that there are no fresh tears marring his face.

And that’s when Sho starts avoiding Nino to the best of his abilities. It’s also when Sho wished his occupation was like most other occupation out there, where he can choose to take a break, where he can claim that he’s sick and take time off work. But it’s not. He sill needs to wear a smile as he stands next to Nino for their filming. He ignores the way Nino stares at him, willing for Sho to just _look at him_.

Because Sho can’t without feeling like the scum of earth.

Nino doesn’t contact him. There’s no messages or missed phone calls. But Nino does try to corner him a few weeks after. Sho only noticed it because the stares turned into _invasion of personal space_. They all have their designated seats in the greenroom. So when Sho came in one day, he did not expect to see Nino sitting in his chair. It has _never_ happened before. He panicked.

“Sho-kun”, Ohno pats the seat beside him.

Sho nods and is relieved when Ohno saves him, “Thanks, Satoshi-kun”, he sits down next to Ohno and wonders how long Nino will harass him for. Things have ended between them. They may not even be able to go back to being _just_ friends. At the most, same group-members. The thought makes Sho’s heart clench. At least, he had a _good_ some twenty years.

More weeks pass and things seem to arrive at a stalemate.

And then concert season is here… and Sho curses when he realises his spare key card to the hotel they’re staying at in Sapporo is _missing._ He knows there’s only one person who can take it from him without him noticing. _Nino_. The solution seems easy. He’ll just stay with someone else. He stays for as long as he can in Aiba’s room before the other kicks him out with all smiles. He then travels over to Matsujun’s room and tells the other they can discuss work. And they do. And Matsujun is so overjoyed and passionate, it puts Sho at ease.

Sho’s phone rings and Nino’s name lights up on the screen. Sho doesn’t pick up and swipes that he’s busy at the moment.

“You’re not picking up?” Matsujun queries.

Sho shakes his head.

“Are you still avoiding him?” Matsujun sighs and crosses his arms, “That’s not like you at all”.

Sho shrugs, “Nino found out that I’m in love with him”, Sho confesses quietly. He really shouldn’t be discussing this with someone who apparently still loves him

Matsujun hums and notes that it may be better for him to not disclose that he was the one who informed Nino of Sho’s infatuation, it only took Nino some time to decipher his words.

“I see”, Matsujun nods, “so what is the argument about?”

“Eh?” Sho bites his bottom lip and thinks a little before answering, “I just find it hard to face him now”.

Matsujun raises one eyebrow easily and sounds genuinely surprised, “He rejected you?”

Sho closes his eyes tightly and then opens them again, “I didn’t stay to hear it, but…well”, Sho scoffs at himself in pity.

“That’s not right”, Matsujun states, “Sho-kun, you really should talk about this with Nino”, and just as Matsujun says this, his phone also rings, Nino’s name on the screen.

Matsujun gives Sho a look and then picks up the phone.

“Please!” Sho claps his hands together and whispers for Matsujun to help him.

“Nino?” Matsujun answers the call.

“J, is Sho-chan with you at the moment?” Nino gets straight to the point.

Sho shakes his head vigorously whilst his hands are still clasped together.

“Yeah”, Matsujun _betrays _Sho, “Sho-kun is here”.

“Okay, then I’m coming in”, Nino says and then hangs up.

“Wait? Coming in? Now?” Matsujun frowns and looks at his phone curiously.

There is an electronic beep that sounds at the door and both Matsujun and Sho look at the door and watches as it unlocks and Nino walks right in with a bored expression.

“Here”, Nino returns Matsujun’s spare key card and then looks at Sho who averts his eyes.

“Nino, isn’t this illegal?” Matsujun holds his spare key card and stares at it.

Nino shrugs, “I figured something like this would’ve happened, gotta use all my resources”.

“How many did you steal?” Matsujun asks, bewildered.

“All of them”, Nino says proudly, he then reaches out to grab Sho’s arm and tugs on it, “Come on Sho-chan, we have lots to discuss”.

Sho looks at Matsujun for help, but Matsujun only motions for Sho to _go_. With that, Sho nods and understands that tonight will be the night he will have to listen to his heart break.

They go back into Sho’s room. Sho thinks had they gone into Nino’s room, he would’ve passed out from how quickly his heart was humming in dread.

Sho is rarely caught at a loss for words. But he finds with Nino, he’s often in this situation. He doesn’t know how to start the conversation, he wasn’t really prepared, he never could be prepared to have this kind of conversation. Sho stands awkwardly as Nino sits on the edge of Sho’s bed.

“Sho-chan”, Nino’s voice is soft, “you said that you would like for things to continue, just like before”.

“I did”, Sho still finds it difficult to look at Nino without his heart screaming in pain.

“I don’t think I want to though”, Nino admits.

“Understandable”, Sho acknowledges, his hands turn into fists and he reminds himself he’s a grown man, he’s an _ossan_ if anything, things like this shouldn’t trip him up and make him cry.

“I’m sorry for lying to you”, Sho apologises again.

“Mmm”, Nino crosses his legs, “I don’t want to string you along, Sho-chan”.

“Yes”, Sho says automatically, “This was all supposed to be _no strings attached_”.

“Exactly”, Nino stands up and sighs, “Let’s put this all behind us and start over again”,

Sho blinks a few times and finds the floor awfully interesting to stare at. He only looks up when he realises Nino is standing right in front of him.

They hold each other’s gaze. Sho still doesn’t know what to say. But he didn’t need to figure it out, because Nino speaks first.

“Why don’t we start going out, together?” Nino asks as he reaches to hold Sho’s hands gently.

Sho is flabbergasted, he blinks rapidly and tries to remember how to breathe. _What_ did he just hear? Is _this_ another one of his dreams?

Nino smiles and Sho’s eyes widen. His heart is beating uncontrollably, and Sho swears he hears each pump of his heart.

“N-Nino, this isn’t funny”, Sho manages to stutter out.

“It’s not a joke”, Nino assures, “I’m not teasing you, Sho-chan”.

Sho swallows thickly. He wants to believe the words Nino is telling him. He really does.

“I like you too, Sho-chan”, Nino says and as though to emphasise his point, he squeezes Sho’s hands.

“Oh”, Sho nods and he seems dazed, as though this really were a dream, “Oh, alright, okay”.

“That’s a _you’ll go out with me_ okay, right?” Nino presses, leaning in closer to Sho.

Sho nods, finding it hard to voice out anything as his brain overworks and tries to figure out why Nino is confessing his love for him instead of Nino breaking his heart all over again.

“Good”, Nino says before he plants his own lips on Sho’s plump lips.

It’s familiar. Sho’s eyes flutter close and enjoys the kiss with Nino. He sighs with content. Even when they prepare for bed and their limbs are wrapped around each other, Sho finds he’s still thinking that _this all_ can not be real.

Sho wakes up the next morning still in Nino’s embrace. Nino doesn’t act any differently around him, is what Sho thought until Nino started peppering him in kisses and caressing his sides without going further for sex.

It was different.

Sho learns that _this_ is what it means to be in a relationship.

The members all share a smile when both Nino and Sho sit next to each other, hand in hand.

**2019**

Their first _non-home_ date, is on Sho’s birthday. The weather is cold still, but Nino had it all planned, even if it was just a dinner to eat Nino’s favourite meal – hamburger steak, it was in Yokohama – where Sho had always wanted to go on a date at.

Even though it’s Sho’s birthday, Nino lets Sho pay for the meal. They make sure their disguises are on properly and doesn’t look too suspicious when they make their way out into the wintery night and walk along the bank, admiring Yokohama at night.

Sho had always thought it was romantic, and even more so now that he is experiencing it.

Their shoulders touch and Sho feels like nothing can wear him down anymore.

They look as the ferris wheel lights up and Sho tries to capture the best photo he can with his phone. Eventually, they make their way to a high-rise building, to the very top floor, situated next to the window with a stunning view over the city and desserts before them to enjoy.

It was indeed, very romantic.

Sho feels like he’s still floating on cloud nine.

And even more so when they check in to a love hotel and let their hands grab at each other. Sho loves the feeling of Nino on him, the other making snarky comments and trying to rile him up and tease him at the same time.

Sho is _in love_.

Nino guides Sho to the bed and they undress each other whilst trying to restrain from a full-blown tickle war as they caress each other’s skin.

This is a special night for them both.

Sho lies on his side and has one leg hooked around Nino’s shoulder as Nino holds that same leg, fingers digging into Sho’s thigh as he thrusts in and out of Sho at a leisurely pace, taking his sweet time.

Moans and groans are timed with Nino’s thrusts and Sho thinks he _can’t_ be happier. His toes curls and his muscles tense. His ass grips tightly onto Nino’s cock as though he never wants Nino to leave him. And truth be told, he doesn’t. Ever.

Sho tugs at his own erection without rhythm. He looks into Nino’s eyes and they share smiles together as they both reach their climax together. To Sho, it was perfect, and it’s all he has ever wanted from Nino.

To be Nino’s only. To have a commitment between them.

“Happy birthday, Sho-chan”, Nino whispers against Sho’s lips before they engage in lazy post-coital kissing.

When they announce to the public that Arashi will be entering hiatus after 2020 ends, Sho feels nervous. Nino’s hand on his own comforts him. He looks forward to getting more time to do things they _want_ to do.

During the press conference, Sho wears his expression as neutral as possible. He makes sure all his words are said with meaning and manipulates the press. Nino’s backup is soothing, knowing that _all of this_ isn’t just solely on him.

After the press conference, they all share a drink together, trying to calm themselves and understand wholly that their hiatus has been announced, that this is going to honestly, truly, be going through.

Nino and Sho stand hand in hand in front of Johnny-san when they’re summoned to his office. They had expected to be scolded and talked out of their relationship. The thought of it made Sho’s tummy churn uncomfortably. The thought of not being with Nino sends Sho sweating more than usual. He knows how much Johnny-san’s words affect them both. He doesn’t want to think about how he would reply depending on the millions of reactions Johnny-san could have to their relationship. But Sho does think about it. He’s a meticulous person like that.

“Congratulations”, Johnny-san says with a small smile.

It’s not what either of them had expected.

“So long as you don’t tarnish Arashi’s name”, Johnny-san reminds them both before they’re dismissed.

No one deals well when Johnny-san passes away.

When Nino comes back from New York, he casually hands Sho a jewellery box. It brings back memories for Sho. He remembers the last time he received jewellery from Nino, it made him wonder even though at the time he knew that he was nothing more than a friend to Nino.

“Open it”, Nino encourages.

Nodding, Sho makes himself comfortable in his own couch before he unwraps the box, opening it up to reveal a glistening silver band in it.

He tilts it under the light and notes that there’s a gem embedded into the silver band.

It’s beautiful.

And also looks like it would take a fair chunk out of Nino’s salary.

“Where did you get this from?” Sho asks, a part of him not believing that this is something Nino had bought himself.

“From New York”, Nino answers simply. He gives the other a smug look.

“You bought it?” Sho asks as he looks between the ring and Nino hesitantly.

Nino nods, “For you”, he gestures at the ring, “Sho-chan, you don’t like it?”

“I-”, Sho swallows thickly. _He loves it_. But, what if this is another one of Nino’s _favourite friend_ gestures? What if Nino thinks they _can’t _workout and that they’re better off as sex friends, or _friends_?

“It’s a promise ring”, Nino places a hand over Sho’s quivering hand.

“Promise?” Sho gulps again and looks into Nino’s eyes.

Nino nods again, “Yes, a promise that one day, we can have our own place together, as an officially registered couple”.

“Officially… you mean marriage?” Sho is slightly bewildered.

Nino’s smirk widens, “What else can I mean?” He doesn’t wait for Sho’s answer before their lips are on each other, the kiss sweet and filled with whispers of their promise.

Sho feels like he’s in utopia when Nino slips the ring onto his finger, making sure it’s _snug_ and compliments how well it matches Sho. Sho let’s Nino wipe away his tears as the realisation of what Nino has just proposed makes it home.

“I love it”, Sho says to Nino, this time, he has enough confidence to look Nino in the eye and give the other a sweet yet sad smile. “I really do”. Sho stretches his hands and lifts it up so he can admire the ring on his ring finger. It’s a perfect fit. He looks back at Nino and knows that he’s in love with the other. “And I really do love you, Nino”.

“I love you too, Sho-chan”, Nino says without missing a beat, he caresses Sho’s cheeks and tugs at Sho’s hair gently before the share a kiss again, slightly salty from all of Sho’s tears.

Sho finds himself lying on his back once again as Nino holds him and pounds into him. With each thrust, Sho lets out a moan and expresses his desire for more from Nino. Nino listens and adds a little more force, a little more speed, a little more love with each subsequent thrust.

They’re greedy for each other. They have made promises to each other. The days in which they were mere friends with benefits now seem so far as each finds themselves consumed in the other’s pace.

Sho releases more moans as Nino becomes more vocal as well, their voices harmonising and synchronising into its own masterpiece. Sho’s hands grip onto Nino’s shoulder and Nino _feel_ the sharpness of the silver promise ring dig into his skin.

He doesn’t need a reminder.

But the feeling is absolutely fitting. Nothing seems better.

“Sho-chan”, Nino calls out and then slows down with the thrusts so he can grab Sho’s head and hold it still. He presses his forehead against Sho’s own forehead, their sweat mixing and their matted hair all pressed against one another.

Sho groans and breathes heavily as his eyes flutter and stare back at Nino. “Nino”.

Nino gently rubs the tips of their noses together in delicate eskimo kisses. He makes sure the burning passion is conveyed easily via their foreheads and the hands that cups Sho’s cheeks _don’t let go_.

“I’m so happy right now”, Nino confesses. “We’re going to buy a place together, live together, our current lives and our lives after 2020”.

_After Arashi_.

“I want that”, Sho whispers back, “I want that with you, Nino”.

“I know”, Nino closes his eyes and swears he can feel Sho’s heartbeat, “You have for such a long time”.

“Nino”, Sho pleads as he tilts his chin up and lets his plump lips latch onto Nino’s waiting lips. Their tongues meet and they sigh into each other’s mouths. Sex had always been _good_ and _fun_ between them from whenever it first started. Sho had thought it couldn’t _get better_. But now, knowing that Nino wants a future with them together, Sho knows that Nino is the only one capable of rewriting the rules for Sho.

He’s the only one in which Sho will allow to do so anyway.

Sho’s legs tighten around Nino’s hips with his heels pressing into Nino’s back. Once Nino starts moving again, Sho shudders under Nino, he can feel his muscles tense and relax in an addictive cycle as Nino’s cock pulls and pushes out of him.

He loves the feeling of it dragging through him and then almost forcefully pushing back into him as deep as Nino can go. He anticipates the warm burst of cum that will fill him and leave him feeling full for days to come. He knows it’s _dirty_ and that he needs to clean right after to minimise the chances of having an upset stomach, but Sho craves it. He enjoys knowing how far Nino has been inside of him.

It also helps that Nino sort of has a sick obsession of watching his own cum leak out of Sho’s puffy and well used hole as it gapes, trying to tempt Nino to dive right back in for another round.

But they’re not _young _anymore, _another round_ doesn’t just pop up like they want it to.

Sho wants to tell Nino that he needs _more_ and for Nino to go _harder_, but all he can manage out in his bliss are moans that is music to Nino’s ears. They encourage Nino to go faster to give Sho everything that he has and _more_.

Nino feels his balls tighten and knows that he will soon reach his climax. He lets go of Sho so that he can put a hand around Sho’s attention craving erection, pumping it in time with his thrusts. He grips hard and then loosens it quickly, knowing this kind of pattern sends Sho wild.

“I’m so close, Sho-chan”, Nino whispers into Sho’s ears.

Sho can barely respond, his eyes glazed over and his neck craned back into the pillow as his back arches up, his body itself begging Nino to love him more.

When Nino reaches his climax, he stills and then shudders violently as he releases deep into Sho. He presses one hand against Sho’s stomach and the other is still wrapped around Sho’s dick, pumping furiously.

“Ah!” Sho lets out a series of high pitched squeals as he cums himself shortly after.

Nino doesn’t pull out straight away and instead attaches Sho’s mouth with his own, sharing another open mouth kiss, this time much more passionate, this time with much more demand. Sho responds eagerly as his body still presses as much as it can against Nino. The contact burns and leaves him with a flaming want for more.

Wincing, Sho has his hands gripped into fists as he lets out a whine when Nino pulls out of him. He can feel Nino’s cum trickle out of his hole and just as he thinks that _it’s such a waste_, Nino scoops some that has trickled out onto his fingers and then presses it against Sho’s lips.

Opening his mouth, Sho takes Nino’s cum coated fingers in and sucks on it gently. The taste of cum has never been a flavour Sho has been fond of. But he doesn’t dislike it either. More so when it’s Nino’s cum. It’s salty and bitter at the same time. The fact that he is sucking on Nino’s fingers that were covered in Nino’s cum which were extracted from himself, really turns Sho on.

“So good, Sho-chan”, Nino tells the other as his other hand digs into Sho’s arse again and starts pumping in and out, making squelching noises as his fingers create friction against the tight walls and the cum in between. “All spread out, my cum leaking from your arse”.

Sho moans and hates that his muscles contract involuntarily at Nino’s words.

Nino smiles and leaves peppered kisses all over Sho’s jaw.

“All mine, Sho-chan, all mine”. Nino says happily.

“All yours, Nino”, Sho agrees when Nino removes his fingers from his mouth.

Some days, Sho wears their promise ring around his neck. Other days, he keeps it in a silk and velvet bag and carries it with him.

When they get to announce Arashi’s next steps, opening up of more SNS accounts after a string of Youtube and Spotify uploads on Arashi’s birthday, their 20th anniversary, Nino pats Sho’s back happily and tells the other that he’s done well. Sho returns the gesture.

They go out for a drink that night, with the other members and enjoy each other’s laughter. Soon this will come to a halt, but it doesn’t make Nino or Sho sad. They’re proud of what they have achieved so far. It wasn’t all fun and games. Neither was it all smooth sailing.

This isn’t the end.

**2020**

It’s the 31st of December. Their last Johnny’s Countdown with Arashi before their official hiatus.

Sho looks at Nino and Nino looks at Sho. The weight of their promise ring sits happily against Sho’s chest. They share a smile each before they both step out onto stage, the cheer of the crowd so loud and the lights blinding.

And they were happy.


End file.
